Irmaa's Story

 I must say that i'm someone who hard to trus another people. and now, i found that i might be bad at comunication perhaps ?  but yah, i admit it. i'm good at prettend like nothing happened to me. i'm good at prettend like i didn't think about you, also i'm good at prettend like i'm strong, i'm always fine, nothing change, etc. but deep down my heart, it's also hurt me. i try to shout it out loud, but i'm affraid it hurt me more, cause seems like i'm crying for attention. so i choose to keep it my self.  but, honestly, can we just talk ? can we just didn't prettend at all ? can we just tell what we feel ? maybe it's my fault, move away from anythings that happened, but u must know that i'm crazy of you. so rather than being overthingking, i preffer to just leave, not because i don't want you, but because i don't want to loose me.  so what u think ? would u like to start again ? or maybe can we just talk ? just to make it clear...

beta pengen pergi, bukan karena melarikan diri. tapi untuk mengembangkan diri lebih. berproses lebih irma. bawa diri jauh lebih baik.  jangan lari untuk menghindar. hadapilah irma. belajar lebih. kasih kuat bahu kasih kuat mental. 

Starting in January 2025, and throughout 2025, I've been constantly thinking about "when will Christmas come?" All year long, not a single day goes by without me thinking about Christmas. Christmas, a moment that comes during the rainy season, but its warmth is always a cherished memory. It's such a joyful Christmas moment for me. and i do really love the christmas season. Go to the church with all my fammily, enjoy the gathering with all my friends,  But this year, I've learned something new about Christmas. Several sad events have befallen some of my friends and companions. I read someone say something like this: "No matter how much you cry, Christmas will still come." I read this, and then I thought again. Yes, no matter how much sorrow you feel, joy and peace (Christmas) will still come, when it's time. Some people cry deeply, deeply. So deep is the grief of losing someone we love. But it turns out that no matter how sad, the world keeps turning....

Tuhan Yesus, beta pengen lari sejauhhh mungkin dan kabur dari sini.  kalau b sering datang, dan terus-terus bilang bahwa beta capek, sonde apa kan Tuhan ?  maaf b sering mengeluh, padahal banyak yang b doakan dan Tuhan sudah kabulkan. Tuhan, beta pu keinginan ini sangat besar. beta takut, takut sekali beta sonde bisa capai. maaf sekali Tuhan Yesus, beta minta terlalu banyak, tapi beta yakin, Tuhan maha baik, menyediakan yang terbaik dan cukup.  Terimakasih banyak untuk berkat yang sudah ada, dan akan terus ada Tuhan. Puji Syukur. 

If you truly desire it, then pray with all your heart and strive with all your might. For it is written: "I lift up my eyes to the mountains; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth." - Psalm 121:1-2 "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for there is no work, no planning, no knowledge, no wisdom in Sheol, where you are going." - Ecclesiastes 9:10 Hold on to it and do it. Sometimes, during my prayer, I think that I'm praying sincerely, with all my humility. But, when i'm in a sillent, and then i think about it, and sudenly, i thought that there's still arrogance in my heart. I found that, I'm still relying on myself. I'm very proud and underestimate God's goodness. The fact that God has blessed me with all my achievement, all blessings that i've got, isn't because I'm very good, but because He pitys me . He, the Lord, the King of the universe, took pity on the suf...

i can't express my feeling, so rather than being stressed, i prefer to drop it down here. i must say that he is not that cool or physically handsome. first time i saw him, honestly i don't really have an interest. but when we talk, i think i found something in him, i gues.  I think he is ingenuous, simple, he doesn't beat around the bush and gets straight to the point.  I like him. Not because he's cool or physically handsome, but because I think he's simple. Simple, kind, humble, and wise. I told God that I like a smart man. I want someone more mature and wise than me (technically, I asked for a man older than me), hehe. And more specifically, I said, "Lord Jesus, I want a man who can sing, who's used to joining the church choir, or maybe at least a man who is enjoys take a part in church activities" And BOOM, I found a picture in his instagram an TikTok Profile that shows me that he is. HE IS ! how suprised i am.  That's what attracted me. It mad...